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Writer's picturePepe Arteaga

Why I cannot stay away from my life partner? Emotional Dependency


Emotional dependence is a state in which a person experiences an extraordinary need to be with someone.


In many cases, people with this condition feel that they cannot live away from their life partners, they even justify the mistreatment they receive.


When they finish a relationship, they unconsciously look for people with the same type of behavior. Over and over again they find themselves in toxic relationships.


Some symptoms of a person with this disorder are:

  • Low self-esteem that fosters the constant need to seek the affection of someone else

  • They experience stress and anxiety when being away from their partners

  • Fear of loneliness, which leads them to tolerate physical and verbal abuse

  • They are submissive to their partner and they feel they must not express their feelings and opinions or not arguing so as not to upset their partner.

  • They tend to feel inferior to others and feel that they are not enough for their partner, and they may become obsessed with the idea of being cheated on.

Do you know any other symptom?


Emotional dependency vs love

Here is my opinion, which is of course debatable.


When we talk about dependency, people do everything to please the partner, expecting in return that that person is present at all times. To do this, control is used and, if necessary, manipulation.


In my humble opinion, to love is to give but the other person is not manipulated to be the way you want or to be with you always.


Some people think that one should live to make the other person happy and while it is true that you want other to be happy, you should never forget both of you are individuals and that it is also necessary to give love to yourself.


Therapy for emotional dependence

There are several options to treat emotional dependence:

  • EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy) - Discovered in 1987, American psychologist Francine Shapiro discovered that voluntary eye movements reduced the intensity of distress from negative thoughts.

  • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Helps control disturbing thoughts and emotions. It was discovered by systems engineer Gary Craig who simplified Chinese techniques by developing a basic protocol of tapping points.

  • Hypnotherapy - RTT or Rapid Transformation Therapy uses the most powerful tool that all human beings have: The Mind. In this technique, some of the previous techniques can be combined, which is why it is important that the hypnotherapist continue to prepare constantly.

RTT focuses on helping people to recognize the problem, define how the patient wants to transformed, detect the causes of this emotional dependence, interrupt beliefs, feelings and behaviors and create new thoughts habits.


Please feel free to ping me if you have any questions or you need further details.


Dare to change your life!



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